My Sports-Fan Christmas List

Dear Santa:

I came to you a couple of weeks ago with my Christmas wishes. I had confirmed that I was on the "nice" list, and you asked me what I wanted. I asked for only one thing, Carl Pavano. I realize that you can't offer everything, so I put that aside, and asked for J.D. Drew and Adrian Beltre. I am thinking maybe my requests were to greedy, and you gave one to the people of Seattle instead. I would still be interested in J.D. Drew. Today I am writing you to tell you that I have a new and improved Christmas list.

1. A bottle of the Flu. Not to inject in myself, but to inject in Joey Harrington, QB for the Detroit Lions. You see, yesterday Joey had one of his best games as a professional QB. Joey threw 25/44, with 361 yards, and 2 TDs. Joey did this with the flu. I would like the bottle of Flu to inject in Joey each week.

2. Snow in Pasadena. Michigan is playing Texas in the Rose Bowl. Michigan doesn't do as well in warm weather out west as they do in the cold east. It would be nice to take Texas out of their element.

3. Confidence : How Winning Streaks and Losing Streaks Begin and End, by ROSABETH MOSS KANTER. I want to read this to Paul Davis. Paul plays basketball for MSU. He's often got problems with confidence. If I read this everyday to him, maybe he could smooth out, and MSU could win more games.

4. Trip to the Bermuda Triangle. I'd like to send George Steinbrenner on a vacation as a way of rewarding him for all his hard work this off-season. I should also tell you, so that I'm not lying and end up on the naughty list, that my reward is not of the friendly nature either. I want him to disappear so that he never can buy another World Series again.

5. Pack of diapers, and two rattles. These are gifts to teach me how to share better. It would be a great honor to present these gifts to Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow. In addition, the diapers would help them be more comfortable.

I can't wait for your visit! Please don't disappoint me, Santa!

Sincerely,

Dan Joseph